I've been a mom for four years now, and as every parent knows carving out time for yourself to keep your own identity is challenging, and I dare say, close to impossible. But, it's not impossible. And I believe alone time is essential for the overall health of both parents and kids. #HappyMomHappyChild
Spending time away from your kids is an important part of effective parenting and here is why:
Personal refreshment
The old saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Kids are draining, as a parent, you need time out to refresh yourself.
A few minutes a day, a few hours a week or one whole day now and then and perhaps even a whole week away can go a long way as it will allow you relax into your own body, fostering a sense of well-being.
You do not like the same things as your child/children
Never mind liking the same things, you most certainly do not have the same energy levels as they do. I always want to nap nap nap and my son always wants to play play play.
And because you don’t like the same things, of course as a parent you sacrifices most of what you like to make room for your young ones. But because innately you don’t want to do those things, it create friction and resistance which drains you and exhausts you.
You want to watch the sunset, a relaxing even with candle light dinner and a glass of wine, they want to go to the zoo, parks and run around all day.
Kids and adults enjoy different things—and that’s okay! Just like you probably make efforts to give your children pleasurable experiences, you deserve to enjoy adult forms of entertainment and relaxation, as well.
It will make you a better parent
When you honor yourself, you are able to breathe more deeply and are able to anchors more deeply into a sense of peace. When you are at peace you are more grounded ( less overwhelmed) and anchored in the present moment. Therefore you are more energized and have the capacity to parent more effectively and efficiently. #gentleparenting
Freedom of thinking your own thoughts
As a parent, your thoughts are centered around your child/ children; answering a stream of questions about everything from why is this color red, why is that person walking down the road, to listening to their endless stories, to catering to their needs.
Your own thoughts, even if you simply want to sing along to a song, often get drowned out.
And so being away from your children is liberating in the sense that you get to be in your own head and think thoughts that concern you, even if it is just day dreaming.
Oh the freedom!
It's important to show kids your identity
It is good for them to know that their parents are individuals, too, with their very own wants, needs and passions. This is the beginning of teaching kids about the concept of identity.
Your kids will benefit too
The point of parenthood is to raise children who will live independently in the world. So, they need to be able to function when they are out there in the world (in your absence).
Your kids will learn independence quickly because they can quickly understand that they can live without you (as their parent), they can learn social skills and adaptability quickly – all of which are very important life skills.
Your kids will live with the confidence that they are strong and resilient enough to be without you for chunks of time which will help them believe in themselves, which is a belief that they can take into their adulthood.
The reunion makes you feel thankful
The reunion will fill your heart up with chunks and chunks of gratitude and a fresh perspective, helping you to focus on the positive aspects of parenting and to appreciate your journey even more.
There is no love like the love between you and your very own offspring. It is indeed a beautiful journey.
Conclusion
So take some time out to be in your own body, create a schedule/ routine that catters for some time out for yourself. For me minimum of 15 minutes a day to either exercise or do yoga or stretching, slow movements or simply meditate and focus on breathing through the tension. I need that time.
Granted life will throw curveballs into my daily routine and things don't always workout as I plan but it's waking up and trying again, it's being adaptable to circumstances and it's allowing life to unfold as it should without resisting things too much.
As your child grows up, things change, their habits, what they like etc. so its a constant process of change and you have to change with it because resisting the change will cause stress and tension.
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